ImageThis is the way things went over the last couple of weeks.

I got an e mail or a call from my brother that mom called him because someone tried to cash a check signed by her for $7,000.00. The bank called and asked her if she would approve it. By some miracle, she said NO. And she called my brother.

So, after that, and another weird issue in her checking account (which I can see because I have access, for better or worse), I began to worry. The  challenge was to figure out who tried to cash that check, how that person got the check, and how to get that check to be useless. (We didn’t know the check number so there was no immediate way to put a stop on it).

I won’t bore everyone with the details, but after several days and nights, nights where I woke in the dark of night and was unable to go back to sleep, we figured out who had the check.

The story doesn’t end there. The person who did this is someone we like, someone we (used to) trust. I don’t know what sort of desperate straits this person is in, but we do not trust her any more. We did not call the police…there would be nothing to report. And people, you have to trust me when I tell you I am becoming an expert on how to deal with these people. One lesson learned is you have to keep all your emotions in (and for those of you who actually know me, this is a herculean achievement). You never want the bad guys to know that you know exactly what they are up to, until you can release the guillotine and chop them completely out of your life. That time has not yet come for this person, though it will soon.

For two nights I didn’t sleep much. Last night when we more or less solved the problem, which I knew by 8:30 p.m., I had a glass of wine. I watched a little television (thirtysomething, remember that?). I went to bed at a little before midnight and slept through the night.

This weekend I shall see my mom. In spite of her situation there are still a few peaceful hours or even days. There are times when I can enjoy my studio. I can draw and think and make art. I can talk with my husband about other things, like our son navigating the year before college. I can be shattered by national and international news (Ted Cruz is bat shit crazy and this whole government shut down situation is so depressing and scary that if it weren’t for my mom IT would be what keeps me awake at night). But to me, this is the hardest and worst time of my life. It is so much better than the lives of so many…I am very lucky and I know that. I am just saying that in my Jess world, I feel mostly paralyzed by thinking of the months ahead.

This morning my facebook status said “I slept”. Now whoever reads this will understand why I felt the need to share those two words. Last night I slept. It was the best of times.

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